Thursday, April 06, 2006

the poor unfortunate american $1

Listen up gung-ho Americans who actually support the billions of dollars we put into our military. (And no, this is not directed at Republicans.) The EU is taking over in sly ways and the eruo is kicking the dollars' ass. Chiggers isn't really happy. I like Europe, and I like the dumbass American tourists over there snapping pictures, sporting Disneyland sweatshirts and fannypacks, and pissing the French off. But this is besides the point. Everything now considered to be "American" like Dunkin' Donuts, Dr. Pepper, and Slim Fast are owned by Europe. In fact, it would take days to list all the brands and corporations which are European owned.

When did all of this happen, you may ask? Well, there is no difinitive answer here, but ever since those countries, (mostly the big 12) got together and formed that thing called the "European Union" and their economy became more powerful than both the United States and Japan by invensting in American businesses, Europe somehow snuck to the top. Americans had no reaction to anything going on. Well, because most Americans had no idea, and the big wigs had no choice, as they suddenly ran into antitrust policies, and that socialism stuff which occurs over there across the Atlantic.

Well listen here Europe, your socialist and communist notions may be great for you, but over here bigger is better. Sure, I would love an egalitarian social system, but I don't want my paycheck deprived. You may rely on NATO, (haha, that is actually still around) but I don't trust the rest of the world to not attack us, so I support the military. Now that isn't feasible with your type of social system is it? You can't fork our that kind of cash, can you?

Moving on...

Americans like Europe more than Europe likes America. It's true, look at the Gallop poll. Are we just that nice, or is Europe still a little jealous that we were more powerful than them for so long and drive bigger cars and our gas prices are lower and we aren't jam-packed into countries smaller than Texas? Well, I'm not sure, but they have television shows directed at making fun of Americans. They picture us as rednecks living in trailors drinking Bud Light. The even have "Jerry Springer: The Opera." We don't do that with Europe. We don't care, we have better things to do. We actually work. None of these vacances for 4 weeks to Club Med.

Now, I know I haven't nearly covered all of it, but whatever. I don't want to put down the Europeans too much, but I do want to defend that fact that our culture does not work well with every European ideal, and reforms and issues which need to made and/or dealt with in the States (like HEALTH CARE and SUE-HAPPY FOLKS) do not have to be a mirror image of Europe. Now where is all of this hostility coming from?

Well, it is in response to T.R. Reid's The United States of Europe, which is a brilliant read. He targets an American audience and lays out the facts of the EU's power over the United Sates rather humorously. He is an American, however, he sides with Europe. (I think he actually moved to London. Traitor.) He makes a point to demonstrate how much better Europe is than the United States, but fails to recognize the differences. In fact, if the reader doesn't recognize such flaw, they make take this book to heart. I do think that Americans should read this; it is loaded with facts about Europe's power, and where it lies. We need know Europe's potential so it doesn't bite us in the ass later. BUT, keep in mind, what Reid thinks is better need not be an for the U.S.

Reid, T.R. The United Sates of Europe. New York: Penguin Books, 2004.


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