Wednesday, April 19, 2006

is chiggers being stalked?

Last night, feeling low and drinking crappy wine, I decided to head to the Java Monkey to do some research and drink good beers. Perfect.

“Highland Oatmeal Porter, please.”

*gulp gulp gulp

I move toward the beer cooler to check out my next beer. Before I could decide this random dood hands me another Highland.

“Uhhhh... thanks?”

What the hell?

“What’s this for?” I ask.

“Oh we’ve talked before, and I saw you drinking that beer so I got you another one.”

“Oh... where? Here?”

“Yea, I was sitting next to you once and you were playing your music aloud, and asked me if it was okay.”

“Oh yea!” (I really had to recollection.)

“Have time to chat?”

“Ugh... ugh...yea, I guess...”

Dammit chiggers.

He sits down at my table.

Don’t get me wrong here, he seems like a nice guy, a little old, hell I’ll chit chat with the poor guy who took the liberty of ordering me a beer.

He starts to talk.

“So I’ve seen you in here a few times with some guy. Didn’t know where you were together or not.”

I should have just taken this as a way out, but being bummed and after the wine (truth serum), I screwed myself.

“Yea... well... we aren’t together anymore.”

Chiggers! What the hell!? This guy has essentially been watching you and you didn’t pull the boyfriend card!?”
“How old was that guy?”


“Guess how old I am.”

“I don’t really know.” *getting a little ticked off



I see my friend walk in so I take advantage of standing in the long line with him to get another beer. I have to get my tab over $5 to use a card there. Dammit. I tell him the strange situation I am in.

It takes quite some time to order, but the dood is still sitting at my table. Doesn’t get the ignore message.

I suck down my beer as fast as possible so I can get the hell out of my favorite coffee shop/bar/study place.

As he rambles on about whatever I notice he doesn’t look me in the eye. He is one of those who seems like they are, but doesn’t actually look directly... Creepier...

Then he does it...

“I am going to go out on a limb here. Would like to go out with my cousin and I this weekend?”

“I can’t (*smiling) I have a performance.”


I pack up my things.

“Wait before you go, can I get your number?”

I had full intentions of being polite and giving him a fake number.

“Okay. It’s 404...”

Then I slipped because I got nervous about lying. Crap. I just gave him my actual number.

“Oh wait, call me so I have yours, I don’t like answering strange numbers.”

Saved again. He went down in my phone as “his name here - don’t answer!” Plus, I can always change my number.

Am I wrong? Is this not creepy? I realize I dug my own grave on this one, but still, isn’t it a little weird? I now do not want to go there without a guy friend to scare doods like this one off. I am obviously too friendly and cannot make up lies.


Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

dooood, that guy and his "cousin" sound like the makings for an after-school special. Buy some mace!!

12:25 PM  
Blogger chiggers said...

I had some mace, but fortunately I traded it in for a billy club. I'm serious.

Doods better watch out.

1:27 PM  

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