Saturday, July 22, 2006

clumsy me.

As I sat today after taking an eight hour long practice MCAT, in effort to get into medical school and be a doctor, I wanted to think of the finer things in life... Something other than AC circuits, trypsin, and the loop of Henle.

While eating my salad loaded with Caesar dressing, I realized that I hurt myself all of the time. No, not intentionally, but in a clumsy way. Though sometimes it isn’t even clumsiness, I feel like I watch myself get hurt and don’t mentally clue in until it’s too late, and set myself up for bruises and scars.

It all must have started when I was about three and knocked my own head into a stereo speaker while jumping. Let’s not point out the fact that it was right in front of me. Sutures in the forehead. You can still see the scar.

I cracked my head open four more times in the years to follow, some my fault, others not. One of mention was when I just leaned back over the bed of a truck and fell on my head into a bunch of rocks. Pure genius.

Five years old. Stood in front of an oncoming baseball. Broken arm.

Six years old. Jumped off my playhouse roof with my hands in my pockets. I landed flat on my face on concrete. My hands were still in my pockets. Thank god I didn’t need facial reconstruction.

Ten years old. I pretty much willingly placed my finger in between the metal lawn chair adjustment. The tip was almost sliced off.

Fourteen years old. I got my own toe stuck in astro turf and broke it.

Now let’s flash forward to recent times.

Nineteen years old. Got into bed and broke my toe. Whacked it on the metal piece.

Twenty years old. See a hot guy, wave with a seductive smile, and then trip up the stairs.

Twenty one years old. Hold my thumb where the door closes, and watch myself close the door on it. Special.... Still don’t have feeling in part of it.

And the big one for twenty two! I opened a yogurt and sliced my finger on the foil. It’s better now though.

Of course throughout all these years I run into walls, hit my head on things, and usually trip over the floor.

Just pray i'm not your surgeon one day ; )


Blogger nevena said...


i can't be trusted when it comes to slicing anything or taking something out of the oven. or walking around the bed--somehow i always managed to knock the bedframe with the most tender part of my legs. niccceeeeee.

3:03 PM  
Anonymous bones said...

That list is hilarious. My favorite was the one with you jumping off a roof with your hands in your pockets. What a visual.

Your list of childhood wounds and scars is much bigger than mine - I was a cowardly little shit.

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are a klutz but very nice and funny story.

5:03 PM  
Blogger Mar said...

I agree with Bones. As I was reading about you jumping off the roof with your hands in your pocket, i actually saw it. A little Chiggers, so excited...until SMACK face plant!!! Good shit!

10:03 AM  

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