Happy New Year! Y2K10! haha.

So let's examine what I did accomplish over the holiday.

I got shitfaced... almost everyday. Shenanigans. Pure shenanigans. I have counted around 10 bruises on my body.

Why you ask? Well, I'm not quite sure. It's just so easy to make poor decisions.

Here's my best picture. I like to call it "how much alcohol can chiggers consume before she dies?"



On a good note, I'm a proud new owner of a road bike. Too bad the temp. in less than 30 degrees here in Atlanta. That may be the only real xmas goal reached. I did make fritatta, but in the wee hours of the morning after an excursion to the murder kroger.

Looks like the year is off to an amazing start...

winter break you are almost here

Nursing school is no joke, and my winter break is approaching. Seemingly Mundane has just inspired me to make my winter to do list.

1. Wear knee socks as much as possible. There is never a bad time for knee socks.















2. Pick out the perfect road bike to start traing for BRAG. I'm leaning towards pink, but i'll probably stay stealth and stick to black.

3. Read atleast 5 books, which may or may not include this one:

4. Go out and DANSE! with fellow blogger Seemingly Mundane. She is going to DANSE! the winter away, so why not join her? Hopefully she won't be too embarassed by me when I show up in themed clothing...

5. Help Stella Kitty lose a few pounds, and stop her gangsta ways.














6. Visit a good friend in NC and go hike in the freezing cold.

7. Beat my father in the best game on this planet...












8. Get closer to my dream of rock hard abs that look like this:













9. Make a perfect frittata. Delicious!

10. Keep up with this blog. I hope to have some great stories that I can actually share soon...

dingle berry dilemma

now i know you are thinking to yourself, why would a respectable young lady like myself title my post "dingle berry dilemma"?

well...

1. life is really all about poop (and pee)
2. poop jokes seem to always cheer me up
3. this story made me contemplate about whether shaving one's ass hair is truly beneficial

some things to contemplate after your reading...

from a medical standpoint i say "hair is there for a reason." but, when the hair conflicts and you are housing bacteria, like e. coli, which can cause skin breakdown, do the benefits of shaving outweigh the risk? how important is this ass hair? should it be trimmed? should is be left alone? should it all go with a razor or wax? should we endure swass (swamp ass or sweaty ass) for the sake of our butt skin? can you cope with a dingle berry? who do you talk to if you decide to live with them? will your partner accept the skid marks?

this serious matter begs serious reflection.

seriously.

so my friend/blogger, seemingly mundane has asked that i start blogging again... just about a year ago i said i would and failed. miserably. so here i go again... i shall try to bring all that is inappropriate and absolutely filthy to your screen.

cats.

I love cats. I even have a rotten one of my own. Meet Stella Kitty.

She is very curious, and insists on exploring everything.
I do have this theory though... She loves food, and she's fat, and if she could, she'd eat me. Perhaps a chubby man like Santa looks like a delightful tuna sandwich to cats.

Now, I don't believe in Santa, and I don't think we should lie to kids and tell him he's going to shove himself through a chimney to eat cookies. I do like cats though. This may not be logical, but I do think this kitty may be sending us a dual message.

If "Santa" gets rabies, it would be absolutely histerical.

i'm baaaaack!!!

I guess that's not exciting, but I'm going to give this blog thing another try. I will devote my time to informing you on the insanity of the earth, which makes my life surreal, and wonder if I am actually here because someone is playing an awful trick on me. Of course i'm not a pessimist, so I like to find the humor in it all :)

Check this story out.

I have no additional comment, but i'm not afraid to hit a guy.

the highest form of humor

So I love puns, especially really really dorky ones. I heard Neal Boortz deliver a few this morning from the list of ten winners of a pun competition. I couldn't resist, so I looked them up. Now some, I have to say, I've heard before, but here are some of my favorites, which I hope are new for you too! Yay!

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says"Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain;they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, --- thereby proving that only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

the cutest boy in the world... okay that's lame, but this picture is priceless :)