Tuesday, February 28, 2006

chiggers wants to move for idiotic reaons.

Dood! There is a street in Tennessee called Farfrompoopen Rd. and I don't live there!? I must be smoking crack. I believe this road was created especially for me, and just waiting for me to arrive. See you guys later, I'm moving to Farfrompoopen Rd. Peace...

check out some other awesome street names as well: Psycho Path Voted Wackiest Street Name

if you are an ass man, be careful in bogota.

In Bogota, this dood on a bike, who obviously could not resist touching a nice ass, did a ride by slap. Hilarious! Of course if this happened to me, I would go punch him in the face as he rightfully deserved. And hey, I think a punch to the face would call the situation just about even. However, this poor fellow has been sentenced to four years of house arrest! This seems just a tad extreme... What ever happened to fun and games?

Man sentenced for ride-by bottom slap

Monday, February 27, 2006

death by testing: an american epidemic

a serious one.

So I stumbled across a rather intriguing topic: intelligence. The subject is rather problematic in the States. Throughout life, ungrateful American children, teens, and adults are tested on a bunch of stuff which supposedly determines whether you are so-called "smart" or not. Remember, ITBS, SAT's, ACT's, GRE's? Yes, yes, I am sure you do, because society behaves as if these tests determine whether you live or die a horrible death. God forbid your 7 year old doesn't rank in the top 99th percentile. Straight to hell with them! Other aspects constitute intelligence besides mathematics and reading comprehension. For instance, how about musical, linguistic, spacial, interpersonal, or intrapersonal intelligence? Don't they matter too? Shouldn't you be given credit for sensing rhythm, telling great stories, being able to interact with society, and also understand your ownself? I'm not sure about you, but no one ever told me those things were important. I only discovered this when I met a bunch of brainwashed bible-thumpers... but that's another story. No wonder little children and teens are so irritating, and the college students are losing hair; they are all tested to see just how dumb they really are. I think I just realized why I was so pissed off.

gerryatrics are crazy mofo's

I have a fear of becoming old, and let's be honest, I am not at all alone in this situation. Old people just become, well... they become angered psychotic people. And, in their great age (no pun) they lose their minds, eyesight, dexterity, and control of their bowels. I find this to be highly undesirable. If I do live to be old, which I highly doubt, I think I will do everything in my power to anger the world around me because I have to wear a god damned diaper. Well, what sparked this blogging nonsense was a video clip from cnn.com. This old fart drove 14 miles on the interstate going the wrong way! Damn you have to be old to do something that dumb. Did she not notice that everyone driving near he was going in the opposite direction!? Come on granny, you should know what the dashed white lines mean by now. She tries to explain herself, but damn she's just to old to take seriously. She says she doesn't know how she did it... "no idear" to be exact. Hmmm, maybe you are losing your mind grandma.

check it out: PLAY VIDEO

Thursday, February 23, 2006

nonhumans can reason.

I am always an advocate for the nonhumans... I really believe that they have more common sense than myself sometimes. This article is hilarious. Apparently these mules knew they were doing too much shitty work, and they did what any reasonable Homo sapien would do, leave. Hopefully the llamas will come their senses as well.


kids these days are so naïve.

If you and your boyfriend are in high school and plotting to kill a classmate, here are some guidelines to follow:
1. Don't write about it in your silly little diary.
2. Don't burn the body on your family's property.
3. Don't chop up the body and distribute part of it in another location from where you burned it.

I guess poor Sarah Kolb and her boyfriend, Gregory, did not know about this. Because, yes, they did it all. Everybody knows that you follow guidelines 1-3, but I guess they missed the memo. I know the girl they killed was hitting on Gregory, but come on Sarah, was he really worth it? Or are you just another crazy Texan? If so, I definately won't mess with Texas. (Wow, that was lame.)

Check out the story: http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/02/22/meangirl.convicted.ap/index.html

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

you better buy toilet paper beeatch

There's nothing really more annoying than running out of toilet paper. Even worse, the roommate that just never buys toilet paper, so you end up doing it ALL THE TIME. Well anyhoo, in the sunny state of Florida, the dood actually beat his roommate with a sledgehammer AND a claw hammer because they were out of TP. Maybe this dood is insane, but then again, there is a good chance he was just fed up. I mean, what is worse than not being able to wipe your ass? For all we know this guy could have had diarrhea... but who can say really?